Top 20 for 2020

2020 has been a long year for all of us. I thought I’d lighten the mood and give you my top 20 for 2020.

Here’s the top 20 weird things that only other massage therapists will understand.

1) When a totally inappropriate song accidently makes its way into your easy listening play list.


2) That dreaded feeling you get when it is getting close to lunch and you can feel your tummy start to rumble. How quick can you transition from working the neck to working the ankle just to put some distance between you.


3) Writing your SOAP notes and having to position your body like you did in the treatment room to work out if you worked on left or right body part.


4) When you realise you’ve been working on the wrong side for 10 minutes because the client’s turned over.


5) That moment of realization when you touch the wrong pedal on the treatment table and the client goes up not down.


6) The anxiety inducing feeling when you see someone fold a towel the WRONG way.


7) Recognizing a client by their back tattoo rather than their face.


8) Asking a client to lie face down on the treatment table with their face in the face cradle….. and then return to find them face up with their feet resting on the face cradle.


9) That awful moment when you feel last nights spicy food making its way down to the lower regions of you intestine and you are 5 minutes into a 90 minute session.


10) Squeaky shoes – who knew that were a thing?


11) On a similar note – contorting yourself into all sorts of positions in the fitting room at Myer trying to work out if the new bra is going to sweak when you massage.


12) The look of horror on a client’s face when they think that noise they just heard was you cracking their neck when it really was your knees cracking as you sat on the stool.


13) Clients who neatly fold all the linens and leave them in a pile on treatment table.


14) Clients who try and disrobe before you have a chance to leave the room.


15) Being the “go to person” when someone needs a jar opened.


16) Being told “you can use more pressure” when you are only spreading the oil or balm.


17) Being told to “go as hard as you like” only to have the client bracing during your warm up sequence.


18) That feeling of quiet joy when the last client after 7 back-to-back sessions is a no show.


19) Permanent short fingernails.


20) That moment of relief when the client has left the room and you finally get to release the gas you’ve been holding in for the last 50 minutes and the horror when you step outside and realise that they are still in the hall way and have heard it all……

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